I got myself in car accident today, who hit first? Me. I turned left on red light and a pizza delivery car, it was accident, I looked but I didn't the pizza car until it's in front of me, but it's my fault overall. No serious injuries.
I'm such an idiot I have to admit. If I'm not suppose to turn on a red light, shouldn't there be a "No turn on Red" sign? I can't think clearly on the road unless there's a sign.
We exchanged insurances and licenses and everything will be fine hopefully.
Now here is the more depressing part, I can live with the car accident but not with my step-dad involve, (my Mom is on a business trip).
I admit I did a big mistake and admit it but he want to feel more sorry; it's like sorry is not good enough.
The thing is with him, if you did something bad even when you admit it and take responsibility, he still shove your mistakes into your face until you are more sorry.
He mocks me; making rash judgments on me.
He confiscated my credit cards and my car keys.
So to the point, my parents are unforgiving.
I can't live anymore, I'm tired of living, I want die. I'll never be free from my parents. There's is no love in this world.
Here's one other thing. I'm not suicidal (hopefully never) I'm just wait to die, whatever some freak accident or maybe old age many decades later. The weird truth is, I'm too lazy or scared to kill myself and there are things to see in the world.
Have you ever seen or heard one of those people with 'mental problems' who walks around spastically making strange random loud sounds or movements. Anyway, there is one near our home who just yell for no apparent reasons and my step-dad said I'm much like him, and call me "stupid".
How would you feel when someone compare you to a crazy person.
I can live with the fact that I'm always intelligent but hearing your parents or step-parent saying these things to you. Maybe I'm naive but aren't people suppose to calm and be nice to their kids?
Writing down my feelings to those who read this is the only way I can talk to people.